fUck¡N' BeEf bUs!

What an awesome expression! I know two meanings for beef bus, according to the urban dictionary it is a cock (it actually says penis) and it illustrates the meaning with an example: "Parking the Beef Bus in Tuna Town". But the meaning that made me ROFL is bus of beef, taken literally, well... not that much. Don't think of a bus made of beef.

Think of a huge guy, like a human mountain and you'll get it.

While watching a tv series called Dexter (not Dexter's Lab, XD) which is about a killer, one of the characters (Deb, Dexter's sis) exclaimed that expression when she saw a guy named little chino.

This is the poster of the show, I recommend it, despite it is about a killer, the argument is very interesting.

This is a screen shot of the fucking beef bus.

Googleing for this expression, I found a web page where they analyzed this episode, look what they tell about the expression I'm thinking of:

“Seriously, though, I can't even accurately describe how mastodonic this guy is.
'Beef bus' is really the best description. He is a bus made out of beef.”

This is an example of the reasons for which I like the English language, its versatility. It's amazingly easy to express quite accurately your feelings or thoughts by using known expressions or inventing new ones.

The easiness is, of course, related with the personal facility for expressing ideas, but this is off the topic, we'll have time to think about thinking.

bUt f¡RSt....R0fLiNg!

Most people know the acronym LOL (laughing out loud), but not so many know ROFL, it stands for rolling on the floor laughing or LOFL, which means laughing out fucking loud.

There are a lot more, like LMAO (laughing my ass off) or ROFLMAO, more subtle like LOTI (laughing on the inside), even really large and explicit ones, ROFLUISMP standing for (Rolling On Floor Laughing Until I Shit My Pants).

In fact, I think that you can mix them up to form new ones, like LOTIL or LOTIFL. Of course, you can invent new ones like FWMPL for fucking wetting my pants laughing or LUIWMP for laughing until i wet my pants.

So, having said that, the title ROFLING should mean ROFL-ing, i.e. rolling on the floor laughing -ing. The same as with coachball, i think this could be raised to sport, it's tiring and you use your muscles.

Among all of those acronyms I chose ROFL because LOL is so oftenly used that, for me, it isn't strong enough. I could have chosen LOFL, but the former make me smile and the later sounds to me like hypocrite.

Now, let me help you practice some sport, by posting a joke that made me ROFL (yes, you can use it as a noun!) for a while:

Three men, an Italian, a French and a Spanish went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: "green", "pink" and "yellow".

• The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day";
• the French was next: "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV";
• last was the Spanish: I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green...green...", I pink up the phone and I say "Yellow?"...
  

c0min' up neXt...

C0uch bAll
0r the aRt of doing n0th¡n'

Let me think about this well known (but not so ancient) practice that consists in laying down on a sofa or armchair doing NOTHING! Sometimes you do nothing alone or with others, nothing means anything not productive or that doesn't requires too much thinking nor moving (so this excludes wanking). Watching TV can be a way, but not watching a movie, a TV-serial can also be. Another example can be playing video games.

The point is that at the end of the day you feel as if you've wasted all that time. Unless you really enjoyed it, in that case you feel as if it was a long time ago when last enjoyed that much.

Nevertheless, this practice has recently risen to the cathegory of sport with several names: "chairball", "sofaball", "sofaing"...

I've read that this sport is called “couch surfing”, and this is what my mind pictured out while i was reading it:

So, because of that I've decided not to use that name and "invented" a new one.

I've also read that when it involves using the remote control it's called “channel surfing”, so:

To be thought...